Bear the Whole Fruit Tray: Infertile, Still Fruitful

We have been so inspired by our dear friend, Mary, throughout her journey of infertility – and she is one of the reasons why we pray often for couples struggling with infertility. She’s sharing an important message about being fruitful in marriage, and we can’t wait for you to read it!

 

My husband and I love fruit. He even likes fruit for dessert. I would hardly classify a bowl of strawberries “dessert,” but pour some sugar, chocolate, and whipped cream on it and you’ve got yourself a sweet treat! The thing we get made fun of for the most is our love for pineapples. We’ll eat them fresh off the tree, sprinkled all over our pizza, or even grilled up and tossed on our hamburgers! Weird? Maybe. But yum? Yes. There is no shortage of fruit in the Bruno house, but some may not agree…

Chris and I officially met in 2010 and married in 2013. Growing up, we both naturally desired to be parents one day. It’s funny how we don’t typically classify having kids as a “dream” because most of us just expect to start popping them out when we’re ready. We were no exception. 

Our dating was characterized by both joy and pain due to my newly diagnosed chronic disease – endometriosis – and subsequent surgeries. But this only increased our growth in love and holiness. Chris truly became my knight as he flew with me across states for medical procedures and cared for me even before he put a ring on it. And two days before my third surgery, he did. 

Then Genesis 2:24 puts it best…

“Leave your father and mother and be united to your wife.” The author of the Bible said (in so many words), “Become one flesh.” He said…

So we did. And it has been bumpy but beautiful. I’m not trying to be cliché. Every marriage has struggles, and ours have made our marriage stronger and sweeter. We are just finishing up preparing our third engaged couple for marriage, and my favorite piece of advice to give each couple is to not be afraid of the potential hard stuff- you know, the sickness part of the “in sickness and health” vow. This is when you get the opportunity to choose love for your spouse and to fully live out your vocation the way it was intended. Suffering helps us to grow in unity more than anything else when we make a gift of it.

We learned that lesson quickly as we began to realize that we may not be able to get pregnant and my physical pain was slowly getting worse.

“Be fruitful.” He said. “Multiply.” He said.

But we couldn’t. Is He sure He wrote that correctly?

These words would mentally and emotionally beat me up over the years. God has designed for us this beautiful vocation of marriage where He invites us to become one flesh and experience a little piece of heaven on earth. But He doesn’t stop there. He allows us mere humans to be co-creators of new life with Him – to be present as He drops a fresh little soul into a fresh little human embryo. To bear fruit. It really is amazing.

Its amazingness is one of the reasons why infertility is so hard. Man, I just wish my body could do all those special little things that make conception and implantation possible! But it doesn’t. So those “fruitful” and “multiply” words made me feel insignificant – not because we weren’t actually being very fruitful, but because we couldn’t see it.

CCC 1654: “Spouses to whom God has not granted children can nevertheless have a conjugal life full of meaning, in both human and Christian terms. Their marriage can radiate a fruitfulness of charity, of hospitality, and of sacrifice.”

I eventually learned that being fruitful doesn’t just mean biological children. It’s far from it! Consider how fruitful priests and nuns are. It took awhile for me to get there because the focus for me (especially in Catholic circles) has always felt directed towards being open to life in the context of pregnancy, children, schooling, more pregnancy, more children, and then schooling again. These are beautiful events and desires, but when one cannot take part in those activities and conversations, it’s easy to feel insignificant.

Y’all, we are more than our ability to have and raise children. We are also more than our inability to do these things.

I know what some of you are thinking right now: “Ahh Mary, hold the phone -I’m pretty sure it is most important for me to bear children…” or something like that. I don’t know exactly the right answer, but I am challenging that idea. What does that say about me who cannot bear children? That God has preserved someone like me from doing something so important through no fault of our own? That I am not as important? That the fruits of my marriage will never be as good? I’m just not sure He works like that. So I’m simply encouraging us to look at it differently. 

Yes, bearing children is important. We need to populate the world. But that’s going to happen as many people continue to become parents. The focus should not necessarily be on the next child, but on this: “What is God calling us to do today?” Sometimes it will be to have another child, but sometimes it won’t. It can be just as selfish to desire another child as it can be to decide to be done growing your family.

“Open to life” requires more than just not using birth control. What are the gifts God has given you to sprinkle into the world as an individual? As a couple? Are you and your spouse achieving pregnancy on purpose because you have discerned that God said it is time or by “accident” (excluding hyper-fertility situations) because you’re not using NFP correctly? Are you open to the fact that God may be calling you to have more children? God has gifted us with the knowledge to effectively avoid pregnancy and intentionally achieve pregnancy in a couple with normal fertility. Do we appreciate that gift and respect His timing? 

Discover all of your gifts

Because of my infertility, I was forced to pursue desires and open gifts I didn’t know I had. Now I wonder if I would have reached this potential if I had been able to bear children. Not because those gifts didn’t exist, but because no one was encouraging me to look for them! My own beautiful and wonderful Church wasn’t even challenging and affirming me in that way. Would I have the same fighting spirit and foster the same desire to help other women and couples?

I learned that I am a good speaker and motivator. I started a ministry to empower women to know their bodies and get them the right help. I am becoming a Creighton Model Practitioner. I learned I can write blogs and rap lyrics that I’ve written myself. We were trained in marriage preparation. We adopted our daughter. I became a founding member of The Wise Fools media group. I give advice. I make people laugh. I volunteer. I cook for friends…and strangers if needed. There is a lot more I have to learn and a lot more I have to give. 

Fertile or not, God has given us each unique gifts and abilities to share with the world. This is not just a story about bearing fruits of your life and marriage, but how beauty is born from suffering and difficult situations. Imagine what fruit can grow during the days you are abstaining!

Bear the whole fruit tray

Ironically, we celebrated our daughter’s second birthday party one year ago with a “Two-tti fruitie” theme because she loves fruit so much. We literally rejoiced in the life of one of the fruits of our marriage with a fruit-themed party. What a corny sentence, but how appropriate? Just like our favorite fruit trays, the fruits of our lives and marriages come in an intricate and beautiful variety of ways, shapes, flavors, colors, and sizes. 

As much as I would love to sit on the couch with a fork and a fresh watermelon, it is good for me to discover and pursue other fruits. After all, who do we think invented all those delicious combinations? Bear the whole fruit tray and add some whipped cream to our Creator’s own bowl of fruity goodness.

 

brunos.jpg

Mary Bruno is a former Physical Therapist Assistant of 6 years who “retired” the day she and her husband welcomed their adopted daughter into the world three years ago. Her long-time struggle with pain and infertility inspired her to start a ministry – “Taking Back the Terms” – nearly 4 years ago to make use of her suffering by helping other women to find better women’s health solutions that treat the whole woman more effectively. She is passionate about her Catholic faith and hopes that her ministries will help shed a light of love and understanding on authentic faith and women’s health. Presently, Mary is training to become a Creighton Model FertilityCare Practitioner and is thrilled to connect women of all ages to this system that truly helps us appreciate our gift of fertility. She is also a founding member of Wise Fools Media Group where she podcasts. Find her @takingbacktheterms on YouTube, Facebook, and Instagram, and read her blog here.

10 Lessons from 10 Years of Marriage

We’re celebrating 10 years of marriage this month! We can hardly believe it’s been a decade since we walked down the aisle and committed ourselves to each other for the rest of our lives.

To celebrate, we’re giving away some resources to one lucky reader. Find the details in the bottom of this post! (Edited 6/15/19 to add: giveaway is now closed!)

482
June 12, 2009

Since it’s been quite the adventure since our wedding day, we’ve learned quite a few things…and we’re still learning. Here are 10 lessons we’ve learned in 10 years of marriage (but honestly, we could put a lot more!):

  1. Always, always have fun together. Seriously. Being silly and laughing together is what has gotten us through some difficult times.
  2. You can’t change your spouse – you can only change yourself. Trying to change each other will only lead to frustration. But if we try to change ourselves first? That’s when growth happens. Ask us how we know…
  3. Take time away, regularly, with just the two of you. Date nights, retreats, you name it. One day your kids will be out of the house and you’ll be retired, and it’ll be just the two of you! So do everything you can to foster your relationship together.
  4. Just like most jobs require continuing education, so does your marriage. Read marriage books, attend marriage enrichment nights, read blog posts about marriage. There are so many awesome resources out there that can help you and your spouse grow closer together. (See our giveaway at the end of the post for some resources you can win!)
  5. Things are never as bad as they seem. Why yes, when you can’t stop fighting with each other, your kids are climbing the walls, and everything in your house seems to be breaking and in need of repair…life feels pretty overwhelming. But God works through all of that!
  6. A marriage consists of a husband, a wife, and God – and no one else. It’s important to set boundaries with other relationships, especially if they’re causing issues in your marriage.
  7. Everything comes down to communication. Share everything with each other, and don’t expect to be able to read each other’s minds.
  8. Prayer first, marriage second, and everything else will follow. We can’t do anything without God! If we put him first, our spouse second, then we will have the grace to do everything else.
  9. Every marriage is different…so don’t compare! Just because it’s more common for the women to cook and the men to handle finances, doesn’t mean you have to do the same in your marriage. Do whatever works best for your marriage! And forget the stereotypes.
  10. Small acts of love make a big difference. Fixing a cup of coffee for your spouse, texting a sweet message while one of you is at work, or letting your spouse sleep in while you handle breakfast with your kiddos. These small gestures really do help a marriage thrive, so remember to do them often!

What lesson would you add to our list?


Now for the giveaway! All of the following is provided by us and will go to one lucky winner:

  • Our Joy-filled Marriage: Couple’s Journal
  • Intimate Graces: How Practicing the Works of Mercy Brings Out the Best in Marriage by Teresa Tomeo and Dominick Pastore
  • Amazing Grace for Married Couples: 12 Life-Changing Stories of Renewed Love by Jeff Cavins, Matthew Pinto, and Patti Armstrong
  • The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman

There are several ways to enter via the Rafflecopter widget below. Good luck! (US residents only, please!)

Edited 6/15/19 to add: giveaway now closed!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

IMG_3633.JPG

7 ways to bring Mary into your marriage

Some of these links are affiliate. If you click through and make a purchase, we may receive a small commission. Read our privacy policy for more information.


During our wedding ceremony, we presented flowers to the Blessed Mother, entrusting our marriage to her.

praying for your spouse

Honestly, I don’t think we fully grasped the importance of that at the time. But as years have gone by, we’ve realized more and more just how vital our Mother is to our marriage.

She is the ultimate example of what it means to say “yes” to God’s will and to trust Him in everything. Her fiat – her “yes” – led to the salvation of the whole world. Not only did she have the perfect marriage, she was the perfect mother. As a woman, I look to Mary as a guide as I strive to become a better wife and mother.

But a man could totally consider Mary as an example too! She was so trusting and self-sacrificial, two qualities essential in a marriage. The most awesome priests we know are the ones with a devotion to the Blessed Mother.

Plus, the devil is terrified of Mary – have you noticed that many statues of Mary have her crushing the serpent? She is the WOMAN. Her prayers are so powerful, as she can literally whisper into the ear of Jesus. And he listens to her, just like he did from the very beginning of his ministry at the wedding at Cana.

7 ways to bring Mary.png

Jesus gave his mother to us (see John 19:26-27), and it brings him great joy when we honor her.

How can you bring Mary into your marriage? Here are some ideas:

  1. Place a statue of Mary in your home, specifically in your bedroom.
  2. Pray the Rosary together.
  3. Have images of Mary hanging on your walls, especially in your bedroom.
  4. Create a Marian garden in your yard. (We did this last year! See our video at the end of this post.)
  5. Celebrate Marian feast days. (One of our faves is the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe on December 12!)
  6. Read 33 Days to Morning Glory and prepare for a Marian consecration together. (We’re doing this right now!)
  7. If your church has a place for flowers in front of a statue of the Blessed Mother, present those to her together and pray a Hail Mary for your marriage.

Do you have any other ideas to add to the list?

Natural Family Planning: A Man’s Perspective

We have our first guest post! Fellow Catholics Online member, Tim Lucchesi, of Chaste Love was gracious enough to share his thoughts about Natural Family Planning. It’s not too often you hear a man’s perspective, and we love what he has to say on the topic…

 

Natural Family Planning: A Man’s Perspective

Approximately four years ago, I attended Holy Mass with my girlfriend, took her on a brief walk through a park, got down on one knee and asked her to be my bride. She nodded and quickly said, “uh yeah!” And after the whirlwind of excitement, the chaos began!

We had to find a date that worked for both her parish and our busy schedules, we had to create an invite list, a back up invite list, and a registry. We had to discuss fonts and budgets and of course create a Pinterest-inspired announcement for social media.

And we had to learn about Natural Family Planning.

 

The journey begins

Like most people, I knew very little about Natural Family Planning prior to getting engaged. Both my experience as a youth minister and my personal commitment to the virtue of chastity had helped me know a little bit, but not enough.

On the other hand, my bride-to-be had nearly eight years of experience in learning the Creighton Model method while charting her cycle. Plus, she had nearly as many years as a high-risk obstetric nurse. Not to mention the fact that her mother had been an NFP instructor for nearly 30 years.

We went to our required engagement retreat and heard a wonderful couple share their personal witness of having used NFP in their marriage. We sat there as couples around us moaned and mumbled impolite things about the Church’s teaching. Then we attended a slightly awkward “intro session” to learn about the method we had chosen.

It quickly became clear to me that Natural Family Planning was very much centered on the woman and her reproductive system. So as an engaged man, and now as a husband and father, I was left asking a question, “Where do I fit in?”

 

Common concerns about NFP

Many people have concerns about using NFP for family planning. The birth-control pill just seems so simple. But putting aside all the moral and relationship-based reasons to not use contraception, the pill is poison. I will not put my wife’s mental and physical health at risk so I can have a feeling of control over my fertility. She deserves better! All women deserve better.

Perhaps the most common, and yet often unspoken reason why people decide not to use NFP is because of the fear of failure. This failure could be user error or method ineffectiveness, but regardless the fear remains. And if avoiding pregnancy is your goal, you can be just as successful at avoiding pregnancy by using NFP as you would by using contraception. But with NFP, you avoid all the risky side effects.

Many people want to achieve a pregnancy only at the precise time of their choosing. And I completely understand that instinct! Pregnancy can be difficult! And raising children, while rewarding, is the most difficult task I will ever undertake. But using contraception leads to a false sense of control and certainty. And when contraception fails, that sense of control is shattered, leading to higher stress in an already challenging situation. A key part of using NFP is remaining open to life. So no matter what happens, you are better prepared to receive new life. Even in the most unexpected of times.

 

NFP and charting…not the same thing

Looking back over the years, I realize that I was wrong about something that is key to successfully using NFP. Charting a woman’s cycle is primarily about the woman’s health and fertility. But Natural Family Planning is about the husband, the wife, the children, and God. It’s about bonding with my bride; spiritually, physically, intellectually, communicatively, and emotionally (aka SPICE).

NFP assists me in loving my wife. More importantly, NFP allows God to love my wife through me. And simply put, the more I can love my wife, the better I can love our children.

As a man, I am not called to love part of my wife, but every aspect of her very being. It’s my duty to share my whole self with my bride. And I desire to share my good days, my bad days, my hopes, my fears, my joys, and even my fertility. Anything less would be selfish. Anything less would not be selfless love.

 

The gift of fertility, NFP, and the Church’s teachings

I desire to do God’s will. And it isn’t easy. But NFP is a tool that helps me to do so. With my whole heart, I believe that God desires us to have children. And I believe that God won’t give us more children than we can handle.

I refuse to see fertility as a burden. By giving me reproductive abilities and blessing me with children, God has shared with my bride and me the very essence and power of His love and creation. A power, with which, God created all the planets in all the galaxies throughout the universe. But even more significantly, God has trusted us with the spiritual growth and guidance of unique souls.

So with that in mind, I am immensely thankful for the gift of my fertility, the Church’s teachings on sexuality, and for the science behind Natural Family Planning. All of these have made me a better husband, a better father, and a better man.

 

57618378_2890750094298776_5999262034754011136_n

Tim Lucchesi is Director of Chaste Love Ministry. But more importantly, he is a beloved son of God, a husband to an amazing woman and the father of two children: the most beautiful little girl and his precious baby son. Tim loves cheesecake and sees every superhero movie that he can. After six years in parish and regional youth ministry, Tim felt called to create Chaste Love, because everyone deserves healthy relationships. Check out his work at chastelove.org or @thechastelove on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

 

Pinterest graphics redesign.png

If you want to hear some of our thoughts about NFP, check out our video:

 

Want to get updates from us? Sign up for our weekly newsletter!

click here (1)

The enemy wants to destroy your marriage

We recently went on our 4th marriage retreat! As always, it was the perfect time to reconnect and reevaluate our marriage, our family life, and our prayer life together. By now, we’ve realized that the enemy likes to attack us in the days and weeks after we return from a marriage retreat. Last year, when we got in a huge fight on the way home! Thankfully, God made sure to remind us early on in this retreat that the enemy can be sneaky…

Throughout the weekend, there are several periods of “couple reflection time” – we spend about an hour or so with just the two of us, praying together, answering reflection questions, and talking about how life is going and what we can do to improve.

During the very first couple reflection time of the weekend, we were sitting on a bench in front of a pond, filled with fish and turtles. The weather was beautiful, so we were enjoying the outdoors while having a great conversation – bringing up struggles in our marriage and how to grow together. That short time together was so fruitful, and we were feeling pretty good about it while excited about the rest of the weekend. We knew God was with us and could feel the Holy Spirit moving!

As we closed that time together in prayer, we both opened our eyes at the same time and realized there was a snake in the water, swimming across right in front of us. From then on, we were both distracted in our prayer and couldn’t take our eyes off the snake. (With good reason – snakes are the worst!)

Afterwards, we couldn’t help but think of what a great metaphor that was in married life (and life in general). There are times where we are doing really well in our relationship with God and with each other, and that’s exactly when the enemy is going to try to distract us. A lot of times we won’t even realize our focus is being drawn away from what’s important.

We all know that the enemy is going to attack us when we’re weak, but we tend to forget that he can be sneaky and distract us when we’re strong too.

That’s why it’s important to come together on a regular basis, to share our hearts with each other. We need to make sure we’re keeping our focus on God and not being drawn away by the enemy.

A marriage retreat is a great time for us to do that – and why we try to go on one every year – but sometimes life circumstances don’t allow for us to go away for a weekend. That’s okay, though! We can still set aside time together – whether it’s a few hours one day, or an overnight date, or any other scenario – where we reevaluate all areas of life and where we have intentional conversation together.

“To heal the wounds of sin, man and woman need the help of the grace that God in his infinite mercy never refuses them. Without his help man and woman cannot achieve the union of their lives for which God created them ‘in the beginning.’”  -The Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph 1608

Here’s our video after our last marriage retreat, where we share our takeaway and why we go on retreats often:

And here’s the video we did after our retreat last year, when we got in a fight on the way home:

 

Intentional conversation between spouses

It’s easy to forget that we should constantly be learning about our spouse. Even though we became friends in high school (15 years ago!!) and have been married for almost 10 years, there’s still a lot we don’t know about each other. And we actually talk to each other a lot!

Last year, we decided to each pick 10 questions to ask each other (scroll to the bottom of the post to see that video). And it was really interesting to see how much we learned from each other just in those few minutes. The crazy thing is, we didn’t even talk about spiritual matters! Most of the questions were kind of silly, like, “Whom would you most want as a dinner guest?”

It’s important to talk about the hard stuff too, though. Husband and wife are meant to be “one flesh” – not only in the physical sense, but emotionally and spiritually too. So that means praying together and sharing everything with each other.

Although we do talk a lot and share a lot with each other, we realized that we don’t set time aside specifically to talk without distractions (kids, TV, phones, etc.) – except for marriage retreats and the occasional date night. Conversation usually just happens whenever and often we get frustrated at the distractions that pop up (or when one of us decides to bring up a tough subject right before bed when the other is ready to sleep…oops). So one thing we are doing is prioritizing distraction-free conversation. Once or twice a month, we will put it on the calendar, maybe pick a special snack or drink to share, and talk about our hopes, dreams, and struggles with each other.

That being said, we also want to be more intentional about our conversation daily and weekly too. We decided not to watch TV at all last week and realized doing so opens up enough time to just sit and talk with each other, which is so important to do on a regular basis.

In case you need some ideas on what to talk about, here are a few to get you started!

 

Questions to ask each other daily:

-What was the highlight of your day today?

-Did you spend time in prayer today?

-How can I pray for you?

-What is one thing I can do to help you today?

 

Questions to ask each other weekly:

-Which compliment/gesture/act of kindness did I say/do for you this week that you appreciated the most?

-Did I do anything to hurt you this week? How could I have handled it differently?

-Are you struggling with anything right now? How can I support you in that?

 

Questions to ask each other monthly:

-How are our priorities right now? Are we putting prayer first and our marriage second?

-How is our family life? Do we need to make any changes?

-Which spending area do we need to cut back on?

-What goal can we set for the upcoming month?

 

You can also google “conversation starters” and find so many different questions to ask each other. Make it a monthly occurrence at least. Or you can download our list of conversation starters by clicking here or the image below!

click here

Do you set aside time to talk periodically? What does that look like for you and your spouse?

What Catholic couples can do during Lent

Some of these links are affiliate. If you click through and make a purchase, we may receive a small commission. Read our privacy policy for more information.


If you watched our latest video (see bottom of this post), you’ll know that we proposed a challenge for your marriage this Lent: pick one thing to do together throughout Lent.

We also shared a couple of ideas that we were thinking about doing together, but we wanted to make an extensive list of ideas for you! It’s easy to go overboard and pick several things to do. But just pick one or two!

We’ve really come to see the power of doing one small thing together and how that can lead us to holiness. While giving up sweets or alcohol or something like that isn’t a bad thing, just make sure you’re picking something that will have a positive impact on your marriage and spiritual life together.

And remember, it’s not supposed to be easy! When you’re deciding on what to do, it’s also good to remember the three pillars of Lent: prayer, fasting, and almsgiving. So while we’re encouraging you to pick only one thing to do together, you should still focus on all three pillars throughout Lent.

Ready for some ideas for what you can do during Lent with your spouse? In no particular order, here we go!

  1. Pray together everyday, if you’re not already doing so. [It might be good to also read Praying For (and With) Your Spouse by the Popcaks.]
  2. Read Scripture daily. Maybe a Psalm a day or a chapter from one of the Gospels.
  3. Read Forever: A Catholic Devotional for Your Marriage by the Angels. We did this during Lent last year since it’s 6 weeks long. It only takes 5 minutes a day!
  4. Do the enrichment program Beloved: Mystery & Meaning of Marriage. If your church parish has a subscription to Formed.org, you could do Beloved for free! There are 6 sessions, so you can do one each week in Lent.
  5. Sign up for the Pray More Retreat. It’s a self-paced online retreat with talks, videos, and study guides. The topics look so good and would be great conversation starters!
  6. Wake up earlier to connect and pray together.
  7. Go on a marriage retreat.
  8. Take Natural Family Planning classes, if you haven’t done so yet (or have been putting it off!).
  9. Don’t watch TV. But be sure to replace that TV time with something better!
  10. Pray a daily Rosary.
  11. Go to daily Mass during the week (in addition to meeting your Sunday obligation).
  12. Donate extra money to your church or favorite charity.
  13. Volunteer at your church and in your community.
  14. Read Three Secrets to Holiness in Marriage: A 33-Day Self-Guided Retreat for Catholic Couples by the DeMattes. (Disclaimer: We haven’t read this yet but plan to at some point this year! It has great reviews on Amazon.)
  15. Commit to not spending any money (other than necessities and usual bills) during Lent. Have a “no spend Lent”, if you will.
  16. Pray a Divine Mercy chaplet every day.
  17. Invite someone over for dinner each week. Maybe it’s time to work on hospitality!
  18. Pick a day each week to do hardcore fasting, like what’s done on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. Fasting together makes for some good accountability.
  19. Go to bed earlier. Make sure to pray together first!
  20. Commit to not having your phones by you when you’re spending time together at home. Enjoy each other’s company!
  21. Pick a person or family each week to bless in some way. Bring them a meal, offer to babysit, whatever you think might help them. (And don’t expect anything in return!)
  22. Pray an hour from the Liturgy of the Hours each day. This can be done with an app like iBreviary or Laudate, but I’m a big fan of the one-volume Christian Prayer. (And if you want to learn more about the Liturgy of the Hours, I recommend reading The Everyday Catholic’s Guide to the Liturgy of the Hours by Daria Sockey.)
  23. Make a weekly visit to an Adoration chapel.

What ideas would you add to the list??


Here’s the video about our challenge for marriages during Lent:

 

Pinterest graphics-4.png

WANT TO GET UPDATES FROM US? SIGN UP FOR OUR WEEKLY NEWSLETTER!

click here (1)

What you can do during National Marriage Week

Every year,  February 7-14 is recognized as National Marriage Week. It really is the perfect time to celebrate the gift of married life and to show appreciation for our spouse. It’s also a great idea to do a little extra something when it comes to nurturing your relationship together. And in case you wanted some ideas on exactly what you can do during National Marriage Week, we have some ideas…

1. Pray for all marriages.

This includes your own! We need strong and faithful marriages more than ever, and since prayer is so powerful, we need to make sure we’re praying for all marriages.

2. Show love and appreciation for your spouse.

How you do this can vary widely, but we always look to each other’s love languages for inspiration.

3. Plan a date night.

Even if you think date nights aren’t necessary in a marriage, it’s still good to get out together every once and awhile! Date night doesn’t need to be fancy. It just needs to be intentional quality time for just you and your spouse.

4. Read a marriage book together.

I shared my favorite books from last year in this post (including two we read together), but there are so many more to choose from! Reading together provides the perfect opportunity to have some great conversation.

5. Choose an enrichment program to go through together.

Just like certain professions require continuing education, we should be doing the same with our marriage! There’s an extensive list of enrichment programs at the USCCB’s website, For Your Marriage, here. We can personally vouch for how amazing United in Love is, which we did last year through our church parish. It was so fruitful!

6. Book a marriage retreat for the upcoming year.

(Here are 10 reasons why you should go on a marriage retreat.) Or you can do a 7-day online retreat! There are 5 to choose from here.

7. Listen to a marriage talk.

Dr. Brant Pitre has some great ones (like this one and this one), and there are plenty others one to be found on Formed.org by Venerable Fulton Sheen, Dr. Scott Hahn, and Jason Evert…just to name a few.

8. Do a 7-day photo challenge.

My friends at HailMarry thought of a fun challenge to do on Instagram and Facebook. Post a different picture of you and your spouse based on the idea they give you!

Do you have any other ideas?? Share them with us!

Pinterest graphics (5)

Don’t wait to make your marriage a priority

This post contains an affiliate link. Read our privacy policy for more information.


In a show Logan and I watched together last year, there was a man and woman who weren’t doing so well when it came to their marriage. They were barely hanging on….and I mean barely. (And sorry, I’m not going to tell you the show because this post is kind of a spoiler! I hate spoilers.)

It was really painful to watch at times, seeing two people  – who vowed to love each other for better or worse – not treat each other very well. It was even more painful to see the husband try to make things work but be shut down by the wife, who was still remembering painful things he had done in the past.

This couple ended up getting into a situation where they both thought they were going to die. Emotions in this scene were running high, obviously, since they thought it was the last time they would see each other, and they still hadn’t reconciled anything when it came to their struggling marriage.

It didn’t help when the man figured out a way that the woman could survive if he basically sacrificed himself. She was really struggling, probably because she couldn’t seem to forgive her husband for the past…yet he was willing to die for her.

As they were getting ready to enact their plan (which would lead to the husband’s death), the wife blurted out, “I wish I hadn’t wasted so much time being angry at you!”

Whoa. Talk about a lesson learned too late, right? (That scene literally kept replaying in my head for over a month!)

I have to be honest and admit that when I think about the earlier years of our marriage, I did spend way too much time being angry at Logan for the stupidest things. I was too focused on what I wanted, I didn’t spend enough time thinking about how Logan felt in any given situation, and I wasn’t thinking about things in light of eternity.

Fortunately, I’ve come a long way since then, but I still need to be reminded from time to time. Because the truth is, we don’t know how long we will have with our spouse. It could be many years (and hopefully it will be), but it could be months…or even days.

I’m not saying that to freak people out. I’m saying that so we can focus on what’s truly important. As husband and wife, our goal is to get each other to heaven. It’s easy to forget that when life is full of so many other things.

I’m saying this as a reminder (especially to me) that we might not have all of the time we think to work on our marriage. Don’t wait to make your marriage a priority until your kids are older, you have more money, or any other number of scenarios. That time might not come.

Do whatever you need to do to make things right with your spouse. Pray together, talk to each other about your struggles, go to counseling, resolve a fight the same day it happens. Ask God for guidance – he will not abandon you.

Just like we need to be prepared for when Jesus comes again, we need to be prepared for the possibility of death coming sooner than later. If Logan died tomorrow, I can honestly say that we’ve been living the best life with each other this last year. We’ve been working harder than ever on our marriage. We don’t want to have any regrets!

Thankfully for the husband and wife in the show, they ended up figuring out a way to survive together. And while they still had a heck of a lot to work through after that, they realized they didn’t want to waste any more time being mad at each other.

Marriage is going to have its hard moments, even in the best of marriages. But the important thing is to love each other through them and remember to make every single day count.

I’ll leave you with the words of Alice von Hildebrand in her book By Love Refined:

“Marriage is worth fighting for – and no sacrifice, no effort should be considered too great to achieve the noble goal of a perfect union between spouses.”


Want to get updates from us? Sign up for our weekly newsletter!

click here (1)

Better Together – a 52-week marriage journal

A couple of years ago, we realized the importance of coming together on a weekly basis to prepare for the upcoming week, share concerns and struggles with each other, and to affirm each other. So we wanted to create a simple and tangible way for married couples to connect every single week.

Enter: a 52-week marriage journal. Now before you tell me, “But I don’t like to journal!” Just wait. It’s not one of those journals where you write paragraphs and paragraphs. Each week, you’ll simply write down the following:

  • what you’re thankful for
  • prayer intentions for that week
  • 3 things you need to accomplish together
  • how you will make your marriage a priority
  • a short note of encouragement to each other

That’s it! 5 simple ways to connect with each other other. Also included is a different Scripture verse (or verses) each week to read together and memorize if you’d like. See the slideshow below for a little peek:

 

 

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

There are also a few “extra” pages, like a quarterly check-in page every 3 months, so you can evaluate how things are going. Other extras include:

  • an anniversary page
  • a date night bucket list
  • pages to write the Scripture of the week
  • extra pages to write notes to each other

 

 

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

The PDF file is 67 pages, so I recommend printing the pages you want to use (you don’t have to use the extras!), hole punching, and then putting them in a binder. That way, you can cut up the extra notes and Scripture pages and put them in the binder pockets to grab when you need one!

You can start using the journal at any time because we leave the date blank. So if you skip a week, you can still continue using the journal…and you can print it out again every single year! We hope it’s helpful. 🙂

$5.99

 

For a limited time only, this 52-week marriage journal is included in the Catholic Mom Bundle, along with our Advent Challenge for Catholic Marriages. For just $25, you get 24 products valued at $362. It’s a great deal! We’re looking forward to using the Family Toolkits, Printable Advent Countup Calendar, and the “How to be a Good Catholic on Social Media” e-course (that alone is worth the value of the bundle!). And that’s only a handful of what’s included. Find all of the details through our affiliate link (we get a commission for purchases made through this link) 👉 Advent 2019 Catholic Mom Bundle. The sale ends Friday!

There is a 30-day happiness guarantee! Download it, try it out, and if you’re not satisfied, just ask for a refund within 30 days.

AND If you purchase through our affiliate link, you can get one of our other products for free – our date night guide, our challenge cards, OR a new project we will hopefully be releasing this weekend! Just send us an email with your order ID number and which product you’d like, and we’ll send you a download link.

 

Want to get updates from us? Sign up for our weekly newsletter!

click here (1)

Pinterest graphics-2.png