If you’re one of those couples who faithfully goes on a date every month (or week!), just skim right past this. 😉
Date night. We all know we should do it but…making it happen? Completely different thing. I have some thoughts if you struggle with it!
1. Figure out what your main obstacle is to making it happen.
Is it your budget? Your baby who won’t take a bottle? Lack of a babysitter? You’re just too tired? (That last one is a lame excuse, by the way…)
Once you’ve pinpointed the obstacle(s), brainstorm a solution. Together!
For us, it’s a few factors. We have limited to no budget (depending on the month, because we have variable income), so we mostly rely on gifts cards and the generosity of loved ones to babysit.
When we have a tiny baby who is hard to leave, we’ve relied on in-home date nights until the stars aligned to make an out-of-the-home date night happen. (And then we took the baby with us.)
I personally can’t stand the planning part of a date – figuring out where to go, who’s going to babysit, etc. Logan is constantly begging to go on a date, and I inwardly groan, because while I would like to go too, I hate being the one in charge of planning. So I finally thought to tell Logan I’d be more than happy to go on a date whenever if he took the initiative to plan – mainly booking a babysitter. My favorite dates have been the ones where he did all of the planning.
Because of our schedule currently, evening dates don’t usually work. So we realized that going on a date in the middle of the day is easier and much less stressful.
You might have to get creative when it comes to a solution to your specific obstacle, but for most people, there is one!
2. It doesn’t have to be extravagant to be considered a date.
Seriously, though. Of course it’s nice to get dressed up really nice, eat at a fancy restaurant, and go dance the night away in some fancy club.
If you want to be consistent about going on dates, though, you probably should keep it simple for the most part. Go to a quiet coffee shop and sip some lattes, browse a thrift store (and pick something out for each other if the budget allows!), or heck, go for a walk or ride bikes. The point of a date is to have dedicated time for just you and your spouse. No fireworks needed.
3. Keep both of your personalities in mind.
Logan and I are complete opposites when it comes to temperament and love languages. So that means we have different ideas of what we want our dates to look like….which means our dates usually consist of quiet down time for my sake (i.e. dinner) and something exciting for Logan’s sake (i.e. picking out each other’s outfits at Goodwill). Yes, you might have to compromise, but I’ve actually come to appreciate my spouse’s wild and crazy ideas. Maybe you will too!
4. Don’t be discouraged. It is only a season.
We’ve been through seasons where going on a date felt close to impossible – one of the kids (or us) was sick for two months straight, our baby did not do well in the evening, there was literally no money to do anything, etc. But don’t lose hope! This phase is temporary. Just make sure you jump on an opportunity to go on a date as soon as it comes. It will be worth it!
So, what do you think? What helps you make date night happen?
In case you missed it, we vlogged our last date! We also share 3 things we try to do every time we go on a date: