date night – Surprised By Marriage

How to make dates a priority when you can’t leave the house

Published on November 16, 2020May 8, 2023 by Jen @ Suprised by Marriage2 Comments

Back in March, when the world shut down due to the pandemic, we realized that going on a date night out would not be possible. So we did date nights at home for a couple weeks, which is the next best thing.

But at some point in April, we realized we had stopped doing our dates at home…and the end of the pandemic was nowhere in sight. We knew we needed to make date nights at home a priority, so Logan thought of a way to make them extra special—pick a theme for each home date!

We asked people on Instagram for theme ideas, and then put all of those ideas in a basket. We randomly picked one and planned our date all around that theme. What we wore, what we ate, and what we did was all about that particular theme.

Our first themed date

That first theme we picked was “royal ball,” so we dressed up like we were going to a ball. We made fancy drinks and appetizers. We danced in our living room. And because we just really love movies, we watched a movie relating to the theme too.

It was so much fun that we decided to do it every week while the pandemic kept us home, and we did! We’ve always enjoyed making a night at home special, but creating a themed date just brought it to a whole new level for us. It was fun to plan the date during the previous 24 hours or so, as we brainstormed ideas and worked together to make the night special.

Sometimes we went all out, and sometimes we kept it simple. It all depended on what we were up for and what we needed on any given night.

Have your own date nights at home!

Since the pandemic doesn’t seem to be going anywhere, and date nights at home come in handy during other periods of life (sickness, new baby, etc.), we decided to help you do the same. Enter: our Date Night In printable, a 20-page PDF with tips and ideas to help you make date nights happen at home.

We include 40 theme ideas on cards that you can cut out to put in a basket, as well as blank cards to think of your own theme ideas. (You can actually get this part for free here.)

In addition, we also include:

Tips for a fun date night in—how to have fun on any budget
How to plan your themed date if you have no idea where to start
Answers to the #1 question we get: “What do you do with your kids?”—with several options for you to consider
Pictures and ideas from our previous dates
Ideas for other themes we haven’t done yet
Templates to help plan your date and to remember what you did

Even though we started themed dates to make things a little more exciting (because let’s be real, 2020 has been hard!), we also still have simple dates too. Just last week, all we did for our date night at home was watch one of our favorite movies and make a special drink. That’s it! No theme. The point is to make time together at home a priority, whether it’s a themed date or not. Our Date Night In printable will help you do exactly that.

Click the button below to purchase or click here.

$4.99

Note: This is a digital download. A physical product will not be mailed to you. After checking out, you will receive an email with a link to download the PDF. Please do not share the file with anyone. If you’d like to print multiple copies to share as gifts, please purchase multiple copies. Thank you!

You can make date night happen: how to overcome obstacles and make the most of every date

Published on August 15, 2019May 8, 2023 by Jen @ Suprised by Marriage10 Comments

We love going on dates. We go through phases where we’re really good about making it happen regularly. But then there are phases where it’s realllllly hard to make a date happen. Schedules are crazy, budget is tight, kids get sick…you know how it goes.

Over the years, we’ve gotten really creative when it comes to date night and have learned so much when it comes to making the most of every date. We also can identify with many of the obstacles that keep couples from going on dates (babysitting and budget!).

So we decided to write a Date Night Guide for Married Couples. It’s not just a bunch of date night ideas, because you can find that anywhere! (Okay, we did include some ideas, but that’s just lagniappe.)

We really wanted to share our thoughts about what we do on every date, how to make date night happen despite all of the obstacles, and to encourage you to keep trying to make dates a priority.

If you’re still not sure if our date night guide is for you, ask yourself these questions…

Do you desperately want alone time with your spouse but having trouble figuring out how to make it happen?

Do you feel like whenever you do go on a date, you’re not connecting with each other the way you should?

Do you want to make the most of every date night, whether it happens once a week or once a year?

Do you wonder if it’s even worth the effort to go on dates?

If you answered yes to any of those, this guide is for you. Whether you’re struggling to go on dates or you’re actually pretty consistent with it, there’s something in this guide for everyone!

This 22-page Date Night Guide for Married Couples (in PDF form) will help you do several things:

- Identify obstacles to date night
- Get suggestions on how to overcome those obstacles
- Make the most of your date night, regardless of how often it happens (this is our favorite part of the guide!)
- Connect spiritually and emotionally
- Consider other factors, like each other’s personalities, when it comes to planning dates
- Brainstorm ways to connect when leaving the house isn’t feasible
- Include your faith into every date night
- Much more!

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

We are both passionate about the importance of going on dates and know that they have contributed to both the emotional and spiritual growth of our marriage. It is our prayer that this guide does the same for your marriage!

$2.99

How to make date night actually happen

Published on April 10, 2018 by Jen @ Suprised by MarriageLeave a comment

If you’re one of those couples who faithfully goes on a date every month (or week!), just skim right past this. 😉

How to make date night.png

Date night. We all know we should do it but…making it happen? Completely different thing. I have some thoughts if you struggle with it!

1. Figure out what your main obstacle is to making it happen.

Is it your budget? Your baby who won’t take a bottle? Lack of a babysitter? You’re just too tired? (That last one is a lame excuse, by the way…)

Once you’ve pinpointed the obstacle(s), brainstorm a solution. Together!

For us, it’s a few factors. We have limited to no budget (depending on the month, because we have variable income), so we mostly rely on gifts cards and the generosity of loved ones to babysit.

When we have a tiny baby who is hard to leave, we’ve relied on in-home date nights until the stars aligned to make an out-of-the-home date night happen. (And then we took the baby with us.)

I personally can’t stand the planning part of a date – figuring out where to go, who’s going to babysit, etc. Logan is constantly begging to go on a date, and I inwardly groan, because while I would like to go too, I hate being the one in charge of planning. So I finally thought to tell Logan I’d be more than happy to go on a date whenever if he took the initiative to plan – mainly booking a babysitter. My favorite dates have been the ones where he did all of the planning.

Because of our schedule currently, evening dates don’t usually work. So we realized that going on a date in the middle of the day is easier and much less stressful.

You might have to get creative when it comes to a solution to your specific obstacle, but for most people, there is one!

2. It doesn’t have to be extravagant to be considered a date.

Seriously, though. Of course it’s nice to get dressed up really nice, eat at a fancy restaurant, and go dance the night away in some fancy club.

If you want to be consistent about going on dates, though, you probably should keep it simple for the most part. Go to a quiet coffee shop and sip some lattes, browse a thrift store (and pick something out for each other if the budget allows!), or heck, go for a walk or ride bikes. The point of a date is to have dedicated time for just you and your spouse. No fireworks needed.

3. Keep both of your personalities in mind.

Logan and I are complete opposites when it comes to temperament and love languages. So that means we have different ideas of what we want our dates to look like….which means our dates usually consist of quiet down time for my sake (i.e. dinner) and something exciting for Logan’s sake (i.e. picking out each other’s outfits at Goodwill). Yes, you might have to compromise, but I’ve actually come to appreciate my spouse’s wild and crazy ideas. Maybe you will too!

4. Don’t be discouraged. It is only a season.

We’ve been through seasons where going on a date felt close to impossible – one of the kids (or us) was sick for two months straight, our baby did not do well in the evening, there was literally no money to do anything, etc. But don’t lose hope! This phase is temporary. Just make sure you jump on an opportunity to go on a date as soon as it comes. It will be worth it!

So, what do you think? What helps you make date night happen?

In case you missed it, we vlogged our last date! We also share 3 things we try to do every time we go on a date:

A month for your marriage {week 3 – being vulnerable}

Published on March 15, 2018March 17, 2018 by Jen @ Suprised by Marriage4 Comments

In case you missed it, I’m hosting a weekly marriage challenge! Read the previous posts: week 1 and week 2.

Copy of Habits we do every day (2)

How we did on week 2’s challenge, date night

I have to admit this was easier for me because I totally knew about this in advance. So we actually went on our date the day before I posted the challenge. Logan and I picked out each other’s clothes at Goodwill and then wore them to eat sushi. And then we went back to Goodwill because of some hilariousness that you should check out on our Instagram account on the stories highlights! It was a super fun date, our first in entirely too long, and now I know we need to really make more of an effort to make it happen. (And we ended the date with a visit to an adoration chapel, which was lovely.)

We’ve also been doing a marriage program at our church once a week too, so technically that could be counted as another date night, since our kids do not come with us.

Did you manage to go on a date? I’d love to hear about it!

Being vulnerable

Logan and I have gotten closer every single year, and that’s because we’ve realized the beauty in being vulnerable with each other. It’s hard to get closer to someone if you’re not sharing intimate feelings with them. I’d venture to say it’s even vital to a marriage to share your deepest struggles with each other!

How am I supposed to help Logan if I don’t know how he needs help? How am I supposed to support Logan if I don’t even know he needs it? Same with him. We cannot read each other’s minds.

It’s not easy sharing some thoughts and feelings with each other though. I’ll admit that I have a crazy mind sometimes (thanks, melancholic temperament!). So sometimes Logan looks at me like I’m a crazy person when I share something with him. But now he better understands me, and he loves me better because of it.

If you’re not sharing the small details of your day with each other, it’ll be hard to share the big stuff. So start small. Tell each other about your day – what you did, who you saw and talked to, your high and low points. It’ll progress from there. The important thing is that you communicate regularly.

Now Logan and I can tell each other absolutely anything (and I mean anything) and not think the other is crazy. We don’t get mad either. It’s a beautiful thing, really.

This week’s challenge

Is there something you’ve been struggling with or been thinking about and haven’t told your spouse? Talk to them about it this week. It can be something small, like struggling with your Lenten sacrifice, or your fears about a future pregnancy or job change. Whatever really! (Bonus points for getting your spouse to share something too!) If you’re already pretty open, be intentional about sharing more details about your day. Make sure you’re sharing more with your spouse than anyone else.

Things to remember:

If you freak out or get mad when your spouse shares something big, you might make them take a step back. Remain calm!
If a serious issue comes out (i.e. your spouse admits to an addiction or other serious sin), don’t hesitate to get a third party involved if necessary. Getting help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Being vulnerable with each other is how you grow closer together.
The devil wants you to keep things from each other!
Praying together is a great first step to being vulnerable with each other – check out our latest video about praying together.

I hate to say this but feel it is necessary: if you suspect your spouse is emotionally abusive, this post is not for you. Please seek the help of a counselor or spiritual director!

A month for your marriage {week 2 – date night}

Published on March 8, 2018 by Jen @ Suprised by Marriage3 Comments

In case you missed it, I’m hosting a weekly marriage challenge this month! Read last week’s post with more details here.

Copy of Habits we do every day (2)

How we did on Week 1’s challenge, praying together

Well, we prayed together every day! We actually decided to pray the Rosary together on Logan’s off days, which we did, and that’s something we want to continue. Thankfully we did that during the day on Sunday, because Logan went out with a friend that night and I fell asleep before he got home – which meant we wouldn’t have prayed together that day had we not prayed a Rosary earlier in the day.

We also prayed the Divine Mercy chaplet one night in addition to our usual prayer time, because we both cheated on our Lenten sacrifice at a church event (oops…darn you sugar cookies!) and wanted to make reparation for it.

How did you do? Did you pray together every day or just once or twice? Was it harder or easier than you expected? Share in the comments or in an Instagram post using the hashtag #amonthforyourmarriage. Can’t wait to hear!

Week 2, Date Night

We have seasons where we’re going on dates regularly, and we have seasons where it feels impossible to complete the Date Night Trio: 1) find a night that works, 2) find a sitter, and 3) have enough wiggle room in the budget to have a little fun. It’s so hard, I get it. There are multiple factors at play – money, schedule, age of your kids, etc.

But it doesn’t matter if you’re going every month, or every week – you just need go sometime. Don’t let money or time be an excuse as to why you’re not spending dedicated time together. You can still go on dates and not spend money (get creative!), and if your marriage is important to you, you will make the time.

Confession: I’m totally fine having a “date” at home. But thanks to my extroverted husband, we tend to go out for dates because that’s what he likes. And now I know that getting out of the house is exactly what we need sometimes and it rejuvenates our marriage even more. A little space sometimes can give you some perspective.

This week’s challenge

Plan a date night (or day) that will happen in the next week or two. Try to plan something that both of you will like where you can spend time talking to each other (that means no movies!!).