Category: Lent

What Catholic couples can do during Holy Week

Published on by Jen @ Surprised by MarriageLeave a comment

Holy Week is the last week of Lent and the perfect time to fully prepare ourselves for the gift of Easter Sunday. It is very easy to give up on whatever sacrifices we might have already been slacking on, but we like to see Holy Week as a time to really dig in. Do more than you were already doing! And we like to do it together to hold each other accountable.

We have a post on what Catholic couples can do during Lent but wanted to share specific ideas just for Holy Week. You can watch our video or read the post below it! Here we go…

What Catholic couples can do during Holy Week

1. Have a “Holy Week of Darkness.”

Some friends of ours have been doing this for years! They spend the entire week in candlelight in anticipation of the Easter Vigil when the Paschal candle is the only light in the church. Read this post for their experience.

Photo by thevibrantmachine on Pexels.com

2. Limit screens.

Although we haven’t done a full Holy Week of Darkness, we do limit screens in a big way. We don’t watch much TV, if any. We try not to get on our phones as much. We do our best to unplug so we can embrace the silence and listen to what God is telling us.

3. Go to Confession.

Frequent reception of the Sacrament of Reconciliation has been a game changer for our marriage. It’s especially important to go to confession during Lent, to better prepare yourself for celebrating the Paschal Mystery. So if you haven’t gone already (or even if you have), make it a priority during Holy Week. (Check with your church/priest as soon as possible because hours may be limited later in the week.)

4. Fast most of the week.

A priest challenged us to do this a few years ago, and it was honestly the best Holy Week we ever had up to that point— and that was in 2020 when there were no public Masses! We fasted on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday (he told us to skip Holy Thursday). Fasting really does draw you closer to Jesus. If you can’t fast from food (i.e. due to pregnancy), fast from something else.

Photo by Julia Volk on Pexels.com

5. Attend as many liturgies as you can.

The Easter Triduum is the most sacred three days of the year. Take advantage of the beautiful liturgies on Holy Thursday, Good Friday, and Holy Saturday. You will appreciate even more the gift Jesus gave us through the ultimate sacrifice on the cross. (Why yes, we even take our kids to the extra long Easter Vigil Mass! Our boys actually love it.)

6. Wash each other’s feet on Holy Thursday.

On the day that Jesus washed the feet of His apostles, take some time to wash each other’s feet. It was one of Jesus’ last acts on Earth to remind us that we are to love and sacrifice for each other. It can also be an intimate moment between husband and wife. (See John 13:1-20 for Jesus’ words about the washing of feet.)

7. Keep the day very solemn on Good Friday.

Unfortunately, Good Friday has become a very popular day to have crawfish boils (at least down here in Louisiana) and to celebrate. Go against the tide! Don’t do anything extravagant on this day. Keep screens off, fast, and remember that this is the day Jesus suffered and died on the cross to save us from our sins. If doing a Holy Week of Darkness is a little intimidating, start with just Good Friday. Leave the lights off all day and use candles when necessary.

8. Pray the Stations of the Cross.

The Stations of the Cross is a popular devotion during Lent (but can and should totally be done outside of Lent too!). Attend the Way of the Cross at your church if it’s available, or make your own stations in your backyard or living room. Maybe even find an outdoor Stations of the Cross to walk through together. We’ve even prayed the stations while walking to different churches in New Orleans —see our video of that here.

Whatever you do during Holy Week, remember to draw close to Jesus together. Be thankful for all of the gifts God has given you, and when Easter comes, rejoice!

Lent Challenge for Catholic Marriages {2025}

Published on by Jen @ Surprised by Marriage3 Comments

**Febuary 2026 update: Looking for our 2026 Lent challenge?? Watch our YouTube video!

For the fifth year in a row, we are offering this Lent Challenge for Catholic Marriages! (We’ve been doing the Advent one for even longer!) Do one thing for your marriage each day of Lent.

We’ve really seen the power of connecting in small ways on a regular basis, and we also choose one thing to do together during Lent every year, so this challenge was inspired by both of those. For each day of Lent, we provide a challenge for you to complete. The challenges range from fun to spiritual and all of the things in between!

The complete challenge includes both a calendar of the challenges (this year includes March and April), as well as a guide that explains each challenge and gives suggestions on how to complete it. If you’ve done our challenges before, using just the calendar works just fine! If you’ve never done our Lent or Advent challenge (or it’s been awhile), we suggest purchasing at least the guide since that gives more information. The calendar and bundle that includes the calendar does also have a blank version of the calendar, so you can either use it as your Lenten plan or to switch up the challenges to better suit your schedule.

**This product is no longer available**

Personally, we choose to laminate the calendar with challenges and put it in our bathroom so we can see it every day. Then we refer to the guide when needed! Just figure out what works best for you. It really is meant to be a simple way to connect every day and to keep your marriage a priority during the most solemn time of the year.

If you’re looking for other ideas on what to do as a Catholic couple this year, check out our massive list here!

Regardless of what you choose, we just want to encourage you to lean in together, to grow closer to God and to each other. The sacrifices we make during this season have an eternal weight! And the more we focus on the pillars of Lent (prayer, fasting, and almsgiving) and what Jesus did for us on the cross, the greater celebration we will have at Easter. And the glory of the Resurrection should remind us of the end goal of marriage – to help get each other to heaven.

We are praying for all of you! Please pray for us.

Do one thing for your marriage each day this Lent {2024 Lent Challenge}

Published on by Jen @ Surprised by Marriage3 Comments

Update: Check out our 2025 Lent Challenge!

For many years, we have picked one thing to do during Lent together as a married couple — whether it’s a new spiritual practice, a book to read together, or something that we will both give up. And we’ve also seen the power of doing small things with great love in our marriage. During Lent, we try to do both!

So that’s the inspiration behind our Lent Challenge for Catholic Marriages, and why we are offering it for the fourth year in a row! It’s a simple way to keep your marriage a priority while doing something extra during Lent… and also focusing on the pillars of prayer, fasting, and almsgiving.

What’s included

We provide a calendar of challenges and a supplemental guide (and this year, you can buy one or the other, or both!). For every day of Lent, we have a challenge for you to complete together — this year Lent is during February and March. Both the calendar and guide have the challenges, but the guide has more thoughts about each challenge and ideas on how to complete it.

The challenges range from fun to spiritual. There are many ways to connect and pray together, and we wanted to include as many of them as possible. Hopefully this Lent challenge will help you figure out which devotions and small acts of love you want to continue once Lent is over. More importantly, it will help you connect with your spouse each day of Lent!

Also included with the calendar is a blank calendar for February and March that you can use to keep track of your Lent commitments and events, or you can fill in challenges of your own (using our challenges too, if you’d like). 

As we always say with both our Lent and Advent challenges: don’t let these challenges stress you out. Yes, some of them may get you out of your comfort zone a little bit. But if you miss a day (or two…or three), just pick back up where you left off. The goal is to spend time together and pray together throughout the Lenten season. 

New this year – separate downloads!

This year, we’re offering the calendar and guide separately! We realize some people appreciate the brevity of the calendar, while others find the guide more useful. Feel free to buy one or the other… or both! Personally, we print out the calendar, laminate it, and put it in our bathroom as a daily reminder for each day’s challenge. Then we refer to the guide when we need some ideas. It is up to you on how you utilize these resources. Please let us know if you have any suggestions or comments! We would love to hear from you.

Note: These are all digital downloads. A physical product will not be mailed to you. After checking out, you will receive an email with a link to download the PDF.  Please do not share the file(s) with anyone. If you’d like to print multiple copies, please email us for licensing options. Thank you!

Visit our online shop here to purchase! All of the options for our Lent challenge are on the top row. Or click on the different buttons below…

lent challenge – both calendar and guide
calendar only
guide only

We are praying these tools enrich your Lenten season together! If you’re not interested in our challenge but want ideas for Lent, check out our post: What Catholic couples can do during Lent.

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What Catholic couples can do during Lent

Published on by Jen @ Surprised by Marriage10 Comments

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Every year, we like to propose a challenge for your marriage during Lent: pick one thing to do together throughout Lent. It’s easy to go overboard and pick several things to do, but just pick one or two!

We’ve really come to see the power of doing one small thing together and how that can lead us to holiness. While giving up sweets or alcohol or something like that isn’t a bad thing, just make sure you’re picking something that will have a positive impact on your marriage and spiritual life together.

And remember, it’s not supposed to be easy! When you’re deciding on what to do, it’s also good to remember the three pillars of Lent: prayer, fasting, and almsgiving. So while we’re encouraging you to pick only one thing to do together, you should still focus on all three pillars throughout Lent.

Ready for some ideas for what you can do during Lent with your spouse? In no particular order, here we go!

  1. Pray together everyday, if you’re not already doing so. [It might be good to also read Praying For (and With) Your Spouse by the Popcaks.]
  2. Read Scripture daily. Maybe a Psalm a day or a chapter from one of the Gospels.
  3. Read Forever: A Catholic Devotional for Your Marriage by the Angels. We did this during Lent one year since it’s 6 weeks long. It only takes 5 minutes a day!
  4. Do the enrichment program Beloved: Mystery & Meaning of Marriage. If your church parish has a subscription to Formed.org, you could do Beloved for free! There are 6 sessions, so you can do one each week in Lent.
  5. Sign up for the Pray More Retreat. It’s a self-paced online retreat with talks, videos, and study guides. The topics look so good and would be great conversation starters!
  6. Wake up earlier to connect and pray together.
  7. Go on a marriage retreat.
  8. Take Natural Family Planning classes, if you haven’t done so yet (or have been putting it off!).
  9. Don’t watch TV. But be sure to replace that TV time with something better!
  10. Pray a daily Rosary.
  11. Go to daily Mass during the week (in addition to meeting your Sunday obligation).
  12. Donate extra money to your church or favorite charity.
  13. Volunteer at your church and in your community.
  14. Read Three Secrets to Holiness in Marriage: A 33-Day Self-Guided Retreat for Catholic Couples by the DeMattes.
  15. Commit to not spending any money (other than necessities and usual bills) during Lent. Have a “no spend Lent”, if you will.
  16. Pray a Divine Mercy chaplet every day.
  17. Invite someone over for dinner each week. Maybe it’s time to work on hospitality!
  18. Pick a day each week to do hardcore fasting, like what’s done on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. Fasting together makes for some good accountability.
  19. Go to bed earlier. Make sure to pray together first!
  20. Commit to not having your phones by you when you’re spending time together at home. Enjoy each other’s company!
  21. Pick a person or family each week to bless in some way. Bring them a meal, offer to babysit, whatever you think might help them. (And don’t expect anything in return!)
  22. Pray an hour from the Liturgy of the Hours each day. This can be done with an app like iBreviary or Laudate, but I’m a big fan of the one-volume Christian Prayer. (And if you want to learn more about the Liturgy of the Hours, I recommend reading The Everyday Catholic’s Guide to the Liturgy of the Hours by Daria Sockey.)
  23. Make a weekly visit to an Adoration chapel.
  24. Learn a new devotion together, like the Seven Sorrows Rosary or the St. Michael chaplet.
  25. Read from Daily Companion for Married Couples each day.
  26. Read Intimate Graces: How Practicing the Works of Mercy Brings out the Best in Marriage by Teresa Tomeo and Dominick Pastore.
  27. Listen to a talk about Catholicism or marriage and family life each week. Catholic Productions has a great selection, and there are several awesome talks in their marriage and family life category. (Both CDs and MP3s are available.)
  28. Do one small act of love for each other every day. (Ladies, check out our 40 Days of Loving Your Husband!)
  29. Do the Stations of the Cross together each Friday.
  30. Do the enrichment program United in Love-United in Christ. We did this one year with a large group of couples at our church, and it was great! You could do it with a small group in your own home as well, meeting once a week for 6 weeks.
  31. Do one thing for your marriage each day of Lent with our Lent Challenge for Catholic Marriages.
  32. Visit a pilgrimage site together…or visit several!
  33. Commit to a weekly date night. Track your dates with our Date Night Tracker!

What ideas would you add to the list??

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