A month for your marriage {week 3 – being vulnerable}

In case you missed it, I’m hosting a weekly marriage challenge! Read the previous posts: week 1 and week 2.

Copy of Habits we do every day (2)

How we did on week 2’s challenge, date night

I have to admit this was easier for me because I totally knew about this in advance. So we actually went on our date the day before I posted the challenge. Logan and I picked out each other’s clothes at Goodwill and then wore them to eat sushi. And then we went back to Goodwill because of some hilariousness that you should check out on our Instagram account on the stories highlights! It was a super fun date, our first in entirely too long, and now I know we need to really make more of an effort to make it happen. (And we ended the date with a visit to an adoration chapel, which was lovely.)

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We’ve also been doing a marriage program at our church once a week too, so technically that could be counted as another date night, since our kids do not come with us.

Did you manage to go on a date? I’d love to hear about it!

Being vulnerable

Logan and I have gotten closer every single year, and that’s because we’ve realized the beauty in being vulnerable with each other. It’s hard to get closer to someone if you’re not sharing intimate feelings with them. I’d venture to say it’s even vital to a marriage to share your deepest struggles with each other!

How am I supposed to help Logan if I don’t know how he needs help? How am I supposed to support Logan if I don’t even know he needs it? Same with him. We cannot read each other’s minds.

It’s not easy sharing some thoughts and feelings with each other though. I’ll admit that I have a crazy mind sometimes (thanks, melancholic temperament!). So sometimes Logan looks at me like I’m a crazy person when I share something with him. But now he better understands me, and he loves me better because of it.

If you’re not sharing the small details of your day with each other, it’ll be hard to share the big stuff. So start small. Tell each other about your day – what you did, who you saw and talked to, your high and low points. It’ll progress from there. The important thing is that you communicate regularly.

Now Logan and I can tell each other absolutely anything (and I mean anything) and not think the other is crazy. We don’t get mad either. It’s a beautiful thing, really.

This week’s challenge

Is there something you’ve been struggling with or been thinking about and haven’t told your spouse? Talk to them about it this week. It can be something small, like struggling with your Lenten sacrifice, or your fears about a future pregnancy or job change. Whatever really! (Bonus points for getting your spouse to share something too!) If you’re already pretty open, be intentional about sharing more details about your day. Make sure you’re sharing more with your spouse than anyone else. 

Things to remember:

  • If you freak out or get mad when your spouse shares something big, you might make them take a step back. Remain calm!
  • If a serious issue comes out (i.e. your spouse admits to an addiction or other serious sin), don’t hesitate to get a third party involved if necessary. Getting help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
  • Being vulnerable with each other is how you grow closer together.
  • The devil wants you to keep things from each other!
  • Praying together is a great first step to being vulnerable with each other – check out our latest video about praying together.

 

I hate to say this but feel it is necessary: if you suspect your spouse is emotionally abusive, this post is not for you. Please seek the help of a counselor or spiritual director!

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