What to do if you can’t go on a marriage retreat?

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If you’ve been following us for a bit, you know that we are big fans of marriage retreats. We try to go on one every year because it’s the perfect time to connect with each other and evaluate our marriage and family life.

But we hear all of the time how impossible it is for some couples to go on a retreat. They don’t have anyone to watch their kids. They don’t have any retreats offered in their area. They can’t find a good weekend to get away. They can’t leave their baby or special needs child for that long. 

There are numerous reasons why a couple can’t go on a retreat, and we totally get it.

What if you could go on a mini retreat in the comfort of your own home every single month?

What if you could meet one-on-one with an experienced and knowledgeable couple each month?

What if you had a community of other couples striving for holiness and joy in their marriage?

Well, friends, something like that actually exists. And it includes even more too!

Let us introduce you to our friends, Nathan and Sarah, the founders of Cana Feast. Here’s a little about them:

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“We are Nathan and Sarah Bartel, married 20 years, with five beautiful children. Sarah holds a Ph.D. in theology, and Nathan has a Master’s degree in philosophy. After hitting some rough patches from the strains of life, marriage retreats gave us the skills and inspiration to find deeper joy and greater passion. We’ve been teaching engaged and married couples about how to strengthen their marriages for over 10 years. We are now on fire to bring that transformation to as many other couples as possible.”

 

 

Enter Cana Feast, their membership community for Catholic married couples. This is how they describe it in a nutshell:

“Cana Feast inspires Catholic marriages with greater joy and purpose. Couples nurture their relationship, walking the path of marriage discipleship with Jesus at the center. Every month we dive into a theme with a monthly virtual retreat night, a guest experts interview, a coaching call, and a resource review .pdf. Previous themes include Finances, NFP, Dates, Romance, Dreams and Goals, Love Languages, and Marital Intimacy.”

If you need help keeping your marriage a priority, Cana Feast is for you.

If you need guidance in how to live an authentic Catholic marriage, Cana Feast is for you.

If you want to grow into the husband and wife God created you to be, Cana Feast is for you.

For $24 a month, you get access to the Cana Feast community and all of the benefits we’ve described. That’s $288 a year for a priceless resource for your marriage. (Or you can pay $250 for an entire year upfront, at a 10% discount!)

We pay $275 to $325 to attend a marriage retreat each year, because our marriage is worth it. We have a date night category in our budget because our marriage is worth it.

Is your marriage worth $24 a month? $288 a year? Absolutely. For the convenience of accessing it straight from your home, it’s definitely worth it. 

If you’d like to join Cana Feast and use our link below, we will send our Date Night Guide as a thank you to anyone who signs up with our link! Just send us an email. 

**UPDATE 6/8/20: Cana Feast doors are now closed!**

Registration is only open until Sunday, June 7! If you’d like to get a taste of Cana Feast’s virtual retreats, you can sign up for their free marriage workshop, Catholic Marriage Joy. We used it in place of our marriage retreat this year (which was cancelled twice), and it was such a great alternative. (The workshop is only available until June 7 as well.)

Click here to join

Have any questions about Cana Feast? Let us know in the comments!

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The enemy wants to destroy your marriage

We recently went on our 4th marriage retreat! As always, it was the perfect time to reconnect and reevaluate our marriage, our family life, and our prayer life together. By now, we’ve realized that the enemy likes to attack us in the days and weeks after we return from a marriage retreat. Last year, when we got in a huge fight on the way home! Thankfully, God made sure to remind us early on in this retreat that the enemy can be sneaky…

Throughout the weekend, there are several periods of “couple reflection time” – we spend about an hour or so with just the two of us, praying together, answering reflection questions, and talking about how life is going and what we can do to improve.

During the very first couple reflection time of the weekend, we were sitting on a bench in front of a pond, filled with fish and turtles. The weather was beautiful, so we were enjoying the outdoors while having a great conversation – bringing up struggles in our marriage and how to grow together. That short time together was so fruitful, and we were feeling pretty good about it while excited about the rest of the weekend. We knew God was with us and could feel the Holy Spirit moving!

As we closed that time together in prayer, we both opened our eyes at the same time and realized there was a snake in the water, swimming across right in front of us. From then on, we were both distracted in our prayer and couldn’t take our eyes off the snake. (With good reason – snakes are the worst!)

Afterwards, we couldn’t help but think of what a great metaphor that was in married life (and life in general). There are times where we are doing really well in our relationship with God and with each other, and that’s exactly when the enemy is going to try to distract us. A lot of times we won’t even realize our focus is being drawn away from what’s important.

We all know that the enemy is going to attack us when we’re weak, but we tend to forget that he can be sneaky and distract us when we’re strong too.

That’s why it’s important to come together on a regular basis, to share our hearts with each other. We need to make sure we’re keeping our focus on God and not being drawn away by the enemy.

A marriage retreat is a great time for us to do that – and why we try to go on one every year – but sometimes life circumstances don’t allow for us to go away for a weekend. That’s okay, though! We can still set aside time together – whether it’s a few hours one day, or an overnight date, or any other scenario – where we reevaluate all areas of life and where we have intentional conversation together.

“To heal the wounds of sin, man and woman need the help of the grace that God in his infinite mercy never refuses them. Without his help man and woman cannot achieve the union of their lives for which God created them ‘in the beginning.’”  -The Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph 1608

Here’s our video after our last marriage retreat, where we share our takeaway and why we go on retreats often:

And here’s the video we did after our retreat last year, when we got in a fight on the way home:

 

10 reasons you should go on a marriage retreat

When most people hear about a marriage retreat, they think that it’s just for couples who are struggling. While there certainly are retreats for strained marriages (Retrouvaille, anyone?), there are also some retreats for married couples who want to grow closer together by spending a weekend away, focusing on God and their marriage. It doesn’t matter if you’re a newlywed or have been married for 40 years – any couple can benefit from a marriage retreat!

We’ve been on 3 marriage retreats in 9 years of marriage…and we didn’t go on the first one until almost 5 years in. Needless to say, it was amazing and just what we needed, so we’ve made it a priority to make it a regular occurence. We HIGHLY recommend every married couple to go on a marriage retreat and to make it happen every single year, if possible (hard when you keep having babies, I know…which is why we’ve done it every 2 years).

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On our second retreat in 2016, with our youngest baby in utero

Here are 10 reasons why I think you should go on a marriage retreat (but honestly, there are even more!):

  1. God first, marriage second, then everything else. A marriage retreat helps you do exactly that!
  2. No cooking or cleaning for a weekend. (Enough said.)
  3. A retreat helps you to move forward in your marriage, especially if your marriage is in a rut. Consider it a jump-start!
  4. To know you’re not alone. Every marriage has their struggles and crosses, so hearing the stories of other couples is reassuring and comforting.
  5. It’s the perfect opportunity to talk about important topics with your spouse uninterrupted.
  6. To find encouragement and community from other couples. As a young couple, it’s so inspiring to see couples 40 years ahead of us! And the older couples are encouraged by seeing young couples putting effort into their marriage.
  7. To learn more about your spouse. There’s no better time to learn about your spouse! A couple’s vacation is fun (and also necessary at times), but the focus is still on vacation….not your marriage.
  8. To embrace the Sacraments together as a married couple.
  9. To be reminded that the Sacrament of Matrimony is a gift, and one we should make a priority.
  10. Great food! (Logan had to add that one, ha)

God wants to be an integral part in your marriage. And he should be! A marriage retreat fosters that in more ways that I can explain here.

Have you ever been on a marriage retreat? If so, what reasons would you add to the list?

In case you missed it, we vlogged during our last retreat! Check out the video:

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