This is a part of a series where I review a recent marriage book that I’ve read. I will do my best to be honest and constructive! This post does contain affiliate link(s). If you click through and make a purchase, we may receive a small commission. Read our privacy policy for more information.
The Discernment of Spirits in Marriage
Discernment of Spirits was written well before Discernment of Spirits in Marriage, but I just so happened to read them both for the first time in 2020. Fr. Timothy Gallagher is known for making St. Ignatius of Loyola’s Rules for Discernment more understandable for lay people, and I found Discernment of Spirits immensely helpful in my spiritual life. So when I learned a marriage version came out, I was really excited. Because I reread Discernment of Spirits in Marriage last year, I wanted to share my thoughts about it!
A good intro or refresher to the Rules of St. Ignatius
Both times I read the book, I really thought an alternative title could be: “Discernment of Spirits for Dummies”. The rules are much more understandable in the marriage book, because Fr Timothy translates the original language from St. Ignatius into a more contemporary version. If you struggled reading Discernment of Spirits, honestly try reading Discernment of Spirits in Marriage, and you just may understand the rules better. It was a good refresher for me, but I also think it would be a good introduction to the Rules of Discernment solely because of the easier language.
I actually think anyone could read this book, married or not. Although Fr. Timothy uses “Mark and Anne” as the couple who is growing in their faith journey and learning about the Rules of Discernment, their experiences could be relevant to anyone. I did appreciate, though, seeing how a husband and wife might support each other and share things with each other.
The dialogue was…not realistic
My least favorite part of the book is probably the dialogue between Mark and Anne. While I understand the reasoning behind sharing conversations between them, I thought much of the dialogue comes across as cheesy. I kept thinking, “Nobody talks like that!” I should mention that I reread this with friends, and I wasn’t the only one who felt that way.
Regardless of that, I think it’s worth the read, especially if you’re not familiar with the Rules of Discernment. Everyone should be aware of how the enemy works and why God sometimes allows dryness and desolation in our spiritual lives. If you’re well versed in the Rules of Discernment already, you might find this a bit subpar. (A priest I know didn’t care for it.) But I’m thinking Fr. Gallagher was trying to reach as many people as possible — at least I hope so. And if that’s the case, I can understand why it was written this way.
Couples can help each other in the spiritual life!
What I probably love most about this book is how it has the potential to make couples realize how we can encourage each other in the spiritual life, which is SO important in marriage. After all, we’re trying to get each other to heaven.
TL;DR: It’s an easy and quick read that is worth your time if you can get past the cheesy dialogue. Even though it’s written with married couples in mind, likely anybody can read it and find it relevant. If you’re well versed in the Rules of Discernment, though, you might want to pass on this one and stick with Fr. Gallagher’s first book…unless you just really want to see the rules in action in a marriage.