Marriage takes constant effort!

We know that may be obvious, but sometimes we can forget. It’s helpful to use the analogy of a garden when it comes to a marriage — we need to tend to it, water it, and help it grow. Only then will it bear fruit. But we know how hard it is sometimes to put it into action, especially amidst all of the various trials that come up in married life. We experience loss, we have miscommunications, and we can easily be overwhelmed by all of the responsibilities we have in life. Let’s be honest: marriage is not easy.

But as many times as we’ve been surprised by the trials of marriage, we’ve also been surprised by the graces God gives us. When we put forth the effort, God blesses it, no matter how small. That’s the inspiration behind Surprised By Grace: Monthly Challenges. Sometimes focusing on the little things in our marriage helps us to work on the big things. Marriage is a marathon, not a sprint. Sometimes we can only work on one thing at a time, and that’s okay!

Pick one theme each month of the year

Surprised By Grace includes 12 monthly challenges (as well as a few extras, which we will explain!). For each month of the year, pick one theme to work on. For each theme, we provide a checklist with a few challenges to complete. Some months have more concrete items while others include concepts to be more aware of. So in general, we suggest trying to check off at least 4 of the following actions throughout the month! Make a goal to do one each week, but you could also aim to complete the entire list. You could also choose to focus on one theme each week vs each month, if you prefer. It’s really up to you how you would like to use these challenges!

Not sure your spouse will do them with you? No problem!

Even though we encourage couples to do these together as much as possible, one spouse can do these alone. You may have to tweak some of them. For example, for Couple Prayer, make praying for your spouse the priority. Although we really encourage you to pray together because spiritual intimacy is the foundation of a marriage, we understand that sometimes a spouse is unwilling. If this is the case for you, pray in a special way that your spouse will be open to praying together.

Another note if you are doing this without your spouse: Do each challenge with love for your spouse, and do not let resentment grow if he/she is not willing to do it with you. Chances are if you really do these challenges, your spouse will notice. Do your part, and let God handle the rest.

The extras for each monthly challenge

In addition to the suggested challenges for each theme, we also provide Scripture verses, Christian songs, and a few date night themes.

Scripture : For each theme, we share 4 passages to help encourage you throughout the month. Look up these verses, pray with them, and write them down where you can see them!

Date Night ideas: For some themes, we share an easy idea for a date. Some are places to go while others are just a simple concept to include in your date. Little things really do make a big difference sometimes!

Music: We share a Christian song that goes with each theme, because we really love music! Some of the songs are specifically about marriage, and some are also Catholic artists.

We suggest hanging your monthly challenge on your fridge, so you can see it regularly and check things off as you go! (That’s what we do with our Date Night Tracker.) And don’t forget that even though it takes work, our marriage vocation is worth the effort. Thankfully God gives us the grace to live it out!

Don’t just be surprised by the work of marriage; be surprised by grace.