We wanted kids as soon as we were married, despite being young (newly 23 and almost 23) and not having the best financial situation. (Just call us crazy!) And even though we found out during our engagement while taking NFP classes that it might be a struggle to get pregnant, we knew God had a plan.
Lo and behold, we got pregnant less than 2 months after our wedding. We were so thrilled!! The pregnancy was going perfectly until it suddenly ended at 22 weeks.
Then we struggled getting pregnant again. And while our time of infertility was small compared to many (less than 2 years), we still remember the pain and the struggle. Not knowing if we’d ever have a baby to hold this side of heaven. Wondering why the desire to be parents was so strong from the very beginning just to have to watch everyone else get their turn first.
Of course this may be really silly (annoying, even?) coming from a couple with 4 boys now, but we just wanted to tell you that we see you. We see your struggle and pray for you often, especially after experiencing another period of infertility before we were blessed with our youngest son. And we hope the following is encouraging for you…
Our marriage would not be as strong as it is now had we not gone through all of that together. We know not to judge small or childless families. We know the silent cross of infertility is one of the most difficult. We don’t take our children for granted, because they were all very much prayed for and wanted long before we held them in our arms. The time where we longed for a baby gave us a chance to focus on our marriage and build a strong foundation for the children that we prayed would follow.
Our oldest three sons came every two years. Our fourth son came 5 years after that. We had wanted a bigger gap…but not that big. But now that he’s here and we see the dynamic between him and the older boys, we know it’s exactly the age gap our family needed. And only God knew that would be the case!
So if you’re struggling with infertility, let us remind you that God redeems everything. God knows what each marriage and family needs and in the time we need it. Is it a coincidence that National Infertility Awareness week always falls during the Easter season? Maybe. But it’s a great reminder that God redeems everything. Our sin, our heartache, and even your infertility.
Your story may not end up like ours, but we know there will be redemption in some way. Just keep your eyes on Him. We are praying for you!
Check out our other posts about infertility:
- To the small Catholic families: God loves you too
- Bear the Whole Fruit Tray: Infertile, Still Fruitful
- The loss of fertility in our Catholic marriage: the grief, shame, and sorrow
