This is a new series where I review a recent marriage book that I’ve read. I will do my best to be honest and constructive! This post does contain affiliate link(s). If you click through and make a purchase, we may receive a small commission. Read our privacy policy for more information.
Totally Yours: The Catholic Natural Family Planning Handbook
For the first 15 years of our marriage, I’m not sure there was a comprehensive book about all things Natural Family Family (NFP) — the different methods, why we should use NFP, what exactly the Church teaches, how NFP strengthens marriage, and what’s difficult about using NFP.
Until now! Stephanie M. Kafie, MD reached out to me about reviewing her new book, just released in August 2024, and I was totally game. I mean, just the title, y’all. When we use NFP, we really are telling our spouse, “I’m totally yours.”
It really is a NFP handbook
After reading, I was trying to think if there was anything left out about NFP, and I couldn’t think of anything! Dr. Kafie really did a beautiful job of sharing both the struggles and blessings of NFP, and I appreciated the research shared as well as her frequent quotations of Church teaching. So many people don’t realize the treasure trove of documents that many of our popes have written, so I’m grateful that this book will hopefully encourage couples to read them in their entirety!
Dr. Kafie also stresses the importance of discernment and communication with your spouse, which is something Logan and I feel passionate about in NFP conversations. It is not NFP if you’re not constantly praying about it. NFP is fertility awareness + discernment.
The other thing I really appreciated is how she doesn’t sugarcoat the hard parts of NFP. So much NFP promotion makes it seem like it’s a walk in the park, leaving many couples blindsided by the challenges. This book will prepare you for that, and Dr. Kafie also encourages you that it is well worth it. As I like to say, heaven is worth it.
I’m tempted to share more from a couple of my favorite chapters, but for the sake of brevity, I’ll say I especially loved chapters 5, 8, and 9. The last chapter was also the perfect ending! See the table of contents below.
The addition of testimonies will likely be more helpful for others than they were for me
There are NFP testimonies from other people throughout the book, and some of them were really beautiful witnesses to the struggles and beauty of NFP in marriage. But I have to admit that some of them didn’t really contribute much. That’s just my opinion though; others may really appreciate them!
Many testimonies also seemed to favor the Marquette method, which might be because the author teaches that method. And as someone who is not interested in learning that method (although I understand the appeal), I would have appreciated more testimonies from other methods.
Speaking of the different methods, I personally didn’t like some of the explanations of them (specifically the 2 methods I’ve used) and disagreed with some of the advantages and disadvantages…but I know I’m biased towards my own experience. I prefer how FAbM Base explains the different methods and divides them into categories, so I suggest checking out their Methods Overview page for more in depth explanations.
Those points aren’t dealbreakers though. I still recommend this book! If you are either new to NFP, wanting to know more, or need convincing that NFP is what is best for your marriage, read Totally Yours: The Catholic Natural Family Planning Handbook. And if you know a couple who is engaged or newly married, give them a copy! They will likely thank you later.
