Advent & Marriage: Ways to keep Advent sacred together

When we really think about it, Advent and marriage have so many connections.

In marriage, our goal is to get each other to heaven. Plus our relationship with our spouse is supposed to be a foretaste of heaven!

In Advent, we’re preparing not only for the birth of Jesus, we’re preparing for when he comes again. It’s a reminder that we need to be ready! We want to be with him in heaven.

So it makes sense that we should want to keep Advent sacred as a married couple. Here are ways you can do that:

1. Commit to a spiritual practice together.

Been wanting to start praying a daily Rosary as a couple? Advent is a great time to start.
Attend an extra Mass together during the week.
Pray an hour from the Liturgy of the Hours each day.

2. Read a book together.

It could be a marriage book or a spiritual book. Read a chapter and then discuss! For suggestions of marriage books, check out our Recommendations page.
A book of the Bible counts as a book! Reading through one of the Gospels together leading up to Christmas is a simple but beautiful way to connect in a faithful way.

3. Limit screen time.

Normally watch TV every night together? Try to limit it to once or twice a week.
Put your phones aside when you’re together for a designated time each day.

Doing both of those will give you plenty of time to do any of the previous suggestions!

4. Don’t feel like you have to attend every party.

Seriously. It’s okay to politely decline an invitation, especially if you’re already feeling overwhelmed. December is a crazy time, and if saying yes to every single event will leave you frazzled and forgetful of what Advent is all about…just say no. Keep each other accountable to this!

5. Go to Confession.

We try to go every month, and that’s especially important during Advent and Lent! Make this a priority. Receiving this sacrament regularly has literally changed our marriage! (And if things start spiraling, it’s usually because one of us hasn’t been recently.)

6. Decide on which traditions to do this year, and shelf the rest.

Really, it’s okay. A couple years ago, Logan suggested we not take out our Jesse Tree (after struggling with it the previous two years), and I realized that he was right. We brought it back last year, and it went much smoother. Not every tradition will be right for your family every year—especially if you’re in a difficult phase with pregnancy, a baby, illness, or any other number of scenarios. Do what what works best for your family this year. But make sure you decide on that together!

7. Focus on the small things.

We tend to have high expectations of doing these fancy and elaborate traditions during December. But so often, it’s the little things that we remember. So focus on those—taking a few minutes to sit together listening to music, saying a prayer together as you light the Advent wreath, etc. We created a challenge calendar to help you focus on the small things, while keeping your marriage and Advent a priority. Check out the details here!